The Importance of Picking the Right Partner
- Byrdie
- Oct 13, 2023
- 2 min read
Updated: Oct 17, 2023
It is no secret that I have a long history of picking the wrong people. Through tons of terrible relationships, I have a learned so much about myself, but also learned the importance of who you give your time to. Not only are you giving your time to someone, but you are potentially giving your future children a parent.
I always wanted to be a mom. I was told time and time again that it would not happen for me because of my intense under-active thyroid issues and my PCOS. I was told that after 30, my chances of conceiving a child naturally would essentially be impossible. It did happen, but that is a story for another time. I was blessed that none of the broken people that I allowed into my life were able to give me children. Imagine the emotional damage that these people could have caused my children.
My long history of mentally, emotionally, physically, really all forms of abuse you can think of could have been so damaging to my children if I ended up starting a family with any of them. It is crucial that when you start seriously dating to marry, you are taking into consideration that the person that you are dating would be the parent to your children.
I was a product of a broken marriage. I suffered and quite frankly still suffer from issues that stemmed from childhood. It wasn’t until I thirty that I finally faced the demons of my past. I know neither of my parents intended on creating these traumas in my life, but they did occur. As parents, we try to do the best that we can with the hands that we are dealt, but trust me when I say, you can make it a lot easier on yourself and for your future children if you consider the person that you are dating as a parent. Ask yourself the hard questions.
When trying to determine if the person that you are with would make a good parent, consider how they make you feel because ultimately, it is pretty likely that they would make your children feel the same way. Does your partner help you when you are struggling? Do they help around the house? Do they make you feel emotionally safe? These are big questions to consider because having a baby only illuminates your partners strengths and weaknesses more.
Do yourself and your future children a favor and take the time to make sure that you are picking the right person for the job. Another note that I have to point out, a baby will not save a bad marriage or a bad relationship. A baby will only make your already torn relationship break and this is so unfair for the child and to you and your partner. Do not bring a life into this world until you are 100% ready to be selfless and put the needs of your children first. Take your time and I pray that you find the perfect potential parent for your future children!
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